OMG UPDATE: OMG Becky, look at her butt.

Updated on Tuesday, April 8, 2014


A couple of guys I am pretty sure they are gay but not a couple.

Guy 1: Do you use lube when you bottom?
Guy 2: No why?
Guy 1: Because it is just pain without it


Guy: "This is shaped like a turd but it looks like meat."


Guy 1: *comments about Guy 2's draft*
Guy 2: yeah, I was drunk while writing it last night


Girl: I can't believe I got g-banged.
Guy: Why not? You seemed to enjoy the evening.

Updated on Friday, March 28, 2014


A couple walking in front of me in the mall, right before they part ways:

Girl: ... don't forget to get some lube too.
Guy: But I don't have enough money
Girl: do you want buttsex or not?


"Do you know what a spike is? Do you know what a volleyball looks like?" — guy at math cnd


I want GPS on my glasses. I always lose my glasses.


2AM in Gear Lab: "What the fuck is a Bessel function?"


Guy: I'm against animal cruelty, but not when it comes to geese. I'll kick the shit out of them!


A professor in an email about cancelling class: "It's only contagious if I spit in your mouth; I promise that I won't do that."


"I'm horny as fuck and just need to bone"
-some girl on ezra during st. pats


Girl 1: Have you ever been to Kernels, the popcorn shop?
Girl 2: OMG yeah!! But I haven't been to the one at Conestoga Mall!
Girl 1: OMG REALLY??
Girl 2: Yeah. You know we should go out at the end of the semester, go to Kernels and get rid of my Kernels virginity!


"I was doing my PPR and fairing, so I said hu hu hu, howuuuuurrdddddddd"

Updated on Tuesday, March 11, 2014


"If you're going to deal drugs, don't do it at the lowest level" - RS Prof


On co-op:

"If you're racist, do you get out of jury duty?"

Updated on Monday, March 10, 2014


Guy1: You know UPS? Like when you know what someone is thinking?
Guy2: What?
Guy1: Like when you can pick up on what another person is thinking. UPS.
Guy2: That's ESP dude.

Updated on Wednesday, March 5, 2014


Guy in BMH: "I'd suck her dad's dick for a taste of the recipe"


At Williams 3 guys talking at the table next to mine:
"she said she had a nice ass so you know what i said to her? let me inspect it. so i started to slap it just to see because you know, i need to inspect it. then she starts squatting and twerking a bit"

"i f***d her in grade 6. you gotta start with different types of girls, i was like 12."

Updated on Thursday, February 27, 2014


"Where would it be holded down, I mean, like where would it be holded down?" - Random girl in E5


3 guys at DP
"Don't worry, it's not racist, I can't tell white people apart either"


While Playing Cards against Humanity a person got five very boring responses to her question

"just because I chose Science Guy over Surprise Sex last round does not make me boring!"

Updated on Monday, February 24, 2014


Guy: Did you guys hear? They're now making ray-mun burgers.
Friend 1: What's ray-mun?
Guy: It's some sort of noodle thing...
Friend 2: Do you mean ramen?
Guy: Oh is that how it's pronounced?


People in the PAS lounge talking about the big game: "The first goal was scored by John Tweeeeees..."


CS 330 prof: "That's the power of life: life sucks."


Girl trying to untie a knot in her shoes but struggling: Girl: "man I don't even have nails long enough for this...I'm a bad girl"
Guy (laughing): "You're a bad what?"
Girl: "Shut up, you know what I mean".