OMG UPDATE: OMG Becky, look at her butt.

Updated on Tuesday, February 7, 2012

#596

Overheard:
Guy: "This scene is so amazing it gives me an erection"

14 comments

  1. Yeah that's what porno's will do to you.

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  2. The first time I got a boner was in 7th grade. I always had big holes in the crotch of my pants because my mom got me cheap pants from King's department store- they don't even have a change room- she'd just hold it against my waist and I'd go home and wear them and they'd split after like 3 days. So I was sitting in a chair eating some snack and just staring off into space wearing these pants with a hole in the crotch. And I had this inadvertent and unaware boner at the time. So it was just pushing my white underwear out- just this angry pin-like boner just sticking straight out. And Jill Casavant, who was the fucking coolest, sexiest chick in my class, pointed down at it and said "Ew!" And I looked up and everyone was going "Aaaah!" just pointing at my dick and screaming.

    And that moment is me. That is who I am.

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  3. ^hahaha that pic made the creepy paragraph totally worth it.

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  4. @4 I don't get it. What is the facial expression being made there?

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  5. ^ Disgust, with a dash of horror and a pinch of ewwwwwwwwww.

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  6. ^ Better or worse? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUY7IJ2-KYA

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  7. Nice story bro. Bought some pants at a thrift store and the zipper didn't work. Was making a few deliveries part time and it was a laundry day so I didn't have any underwear on. This super hot chick answered the door in her underwear and giggled when I got an erection and then her massive boyfriend came out when I was at full mast. So I ran away and wasn't paid. Then later that night I thought about what I would have done had she been alone and made a delivery to an old woman. She called the cops on me, bitch.

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  8. If anyone has a good awkward boner story, please post it here. Thanks!

    P.S. Check out awkwardboners.com for a nice collection of awkward boner photos and accessories.

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  9. In first year I was making out with this trashy girl and got a *raaaaaging* awkward boner. She noticed. She jerked me off through my pants while whispering some seriously fucked up shit in my ear.

    COOL STORY BRO

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  10. ^ Hi. I was wondering if you or anyone else could clarify for me the logistics of "jerking someone off". Are you supposed to use something to keep things moist because I always hear guys talking about using lotion or something? It's confusing to me because I can't imagine always having that around for the occasion.

    I also noticed you said "through my pants". Now, would this be enough to finish things off or would it just escalate things and make the guy angry when that's all that ends up happening? You didn't appear to show any bitterness about it in your post- is it safe to assume I can simply use that move and leave it at that? I've never quite understood handjobs and would really appreciate any advice. Thanks.

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  11. you don't have to have lotion, just use a lightish grip. Seriously, don't grasp it too hard, be gentle. Jack the guy off with a good steady pace. You can increase the pace a bit eventually, but keep it steady. Some guys might like eye contact or a little dirty talk. If you're naked you can even straddle him a bit so the base is nestled between your labia.

    Through the pants in that case was definitely enough to finish things off. Though, it was a little unusual. Generally you should undo his pants.

    You can watch a bit of porn to see it in action, look for vids that are handjob vids (i.e. it's the main attraction), they're pretty common. Take what you see in porn with a grain of salt.

    I LOVE GETTING HANDJOBS

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  12. ^ Thanks! Will do.

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